Monday, June 22, 2009

Top Words of Wisdom

Where can we find happiness?

Happiness is not found in a tranquil life free of storms and tempests. Real happiness is found in the struggles we undergo to realize our goals, in our efforts to move forward.


As long as we are alive we will experience sufferings. But that does not mean we have to be unhappy. Unhappiness comes from allowing ourselves to be controlled by life's ups and downs-from feeling defeated, from losing hope, losing courage, losing the will to advance.

We each move forward secure on our own earth, not the earth of others. Happiness is something we must create for ourselves. No one else can give it to us.

Material wealth does not necessarily make for happiness. Nor does fame. Hope is life's greatest treasure. A life without hope is bleak and gray. If you have no hope, create some.

Hope transforms pessimism into optimism. Hope is invincible. Hope changes everything. It changes winter into summer, darkness into dawn, descent into ascent, barrenness into creativity, agony into joy. Hope is the sun. It is light. It is passion. It is the fundamental force for life's blossoming.

It is important to keep the promises made to friends. This is the true meaning of friendship. To become people who can do so, however, we must first learn to keep the promises we have made to ourselves.

If you remain sincere in your interactions with others, you will naturally come to find yourself surrounded by good friends.

Friendship is the most beautiful, most powerful and most valuable treasure in life. It is your true wealth. No matter how much status people may gain or how rich they may become, a life without friends leads to an unbalanced, self-centered existence.

There is no true joy in a life lived closed up in the little shell of the self. When you take one step to reach out to people, when you meet with others and share their thoughts and sufferings, infinite compassion and wisdom well up within your heart. Your life is transformed.

Friendship is tested and proven in adversity. Perhaps only those who have suffered truly demoralizing blows can fully appreciate the beauty of friendship.

Just as a spring breeze awakens tender new shoots of green, sincere encouragement can thaw a frozen heart and instill courage. It is the most powerful means to rejuvenate the human spirit.

"Thank you" is a miraculous expression. We feel good when we say it, and we feel good when we hear it. When we speak or hear the words thank you, the armor falls from our hearts and we communicate on the deepest level.

Friendship is not a matter of the amount of time you spend with someone. Rather, it is a measure of the strength and depth of the spiritual resonance that arises between you.

In Japan, the mountain potatoes known as taros are rough and dirty when harvested, but when they are placed in a basin of running water together and rolled against each other, the skin peels away, leaving the potatoes shining clean and ready for cooking. Similarly, the only way for us to hone and polish our character is through our interactions with others.

Genuine sincerity opens people's hearts, while manipulation causes them to close.

No matter how much you care, the sentiment alone will not communicate itself. When your feelings are conveyed in words, your voice will have the immense power to move another person's heart.

The heart of one person moves another's. ... If one's own heart is closed, then the doors of other people's hearts will also shut tight. On the other hand, someone who makes all those around him or her into allies, bathing them in the sunlight of spring, will be treasured by all.

It is much more valuable to look for the strengths in others-you gain nothing by criticizing people's imperfections.

To commiserate with, to feel pity for, another falls short of genuine compassion. Understanding is key. People manage to draw the strength to carry on simply knowing that there is someone out there that understands them unconditionally.

You cannot judge the quality of another's friendship by superficial appearances, especially when things are going smoothly. It is only when we have experienced the worst, most crushing of times-when we have plumbed the depths of life-that we can experience the joys of genuine friendship. Only a man of principle, a woman of resolve-a person who stays true to their chosen path-can be a trusted and true friend, and have real friends in turn.

People who come to your aid in a time of personal crisis are people of genuine compassion and courage. More often than not, people will try to act as though nothing is wrong. Others are either afraid or refuse to get involved, and quietly drift away.

Our voice resonates with life. Because this is so, it can touch the lives of others. The caring and compassion imbued in your voice finds passage to the listener's soul, striking his or her heart and causing it to sing out; the human voice summons something profound from deep within, and can even compel a person into action.


Friday, June 19, 2009

One Paragraph that Explain Life



Arthur Ashe, the legendary Wimbledon player was dying of AIDS which he got due to infected blood he received during a heart surgery in 1983. From world over, he received letters from his fans, one of which conveyed: "Why does GOD have to select you for such a bad disease"?

To this Arthur Ashe replied: "In the world over -- 50 million children start playing tennis, 5 million learn to play tennis, 500,000 learn professional tennis, 50,000 come to the circuit, 5000 reach the grand slam, 50 reach Wimbledon, 4 to semi final, 2 to the finals, When I was holding a cup I never asked GOD "Why me?".

And today in pain I should not be asking GOD "Why me?"

"Happiness keeps you Sweet,
Trials keep you Strong,
Sorrow keeps you Human,
Failure Keeps you humble,
Success keeps you glowing,
but only Faith & Attitude Keeps you going...."


Friday, June 12, 2009

5 Golden Rules in Chossing A Life Partner.

A relationship coach lays out his 5 golden rules for evaluating the prospects of long-term success.

When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50 percent, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr/Ms Right!

If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married, they'll say: "We're in love." I believe this is the #1 mistake people make when they date.

Choosing a life partner should never be based on love (alone).

Though this may sound not politically correct, there's a profound truth here. Love (alone) is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come.

Let me say it again: You can't build a lifetime relationship on love alone. You need a lot more. Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you're serious about finding and keeping a life partner.

QUESTION #1:
Do we share a common life purpose?

Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you're married for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone.

What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose. Two things can happen in a marriage:

  • You can grow together, or
  • you can grow apart.


50 percent of the people out there are growing apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life - bottom line - and marry someone who wants the same thing.


QUESTION #2:
Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person?

This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship.

Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust! i.e. trust that I won't get "punished" or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings.

A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.

QUESTION #3:
Is s/he a mensch?

A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can you test? Here are some suggestions:

  • Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis
  • Are they serious about improving themselves?


A teacher of mine defines a good person as "someone who is always striving to be good and do the right thing". So, ask about your significant other: What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic?

Usually, a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement. There are essentially two types of people in the world:

  • People who are dedicated to personal growth, and
  • People who are dedicated to seeking comfort.


Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle.

QUESTION #4:
How does he/she treat other people?

The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure.


Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self-absorbed? To measure this, think about the following:

  • How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc?
  • How do they treat parents and siblings? Do they have gratitude and appreciation?
  • Do they show respect? If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them everything, you cannot expect that they'll have gratitude for you- who can't do nearly as much for them!
  • Do they gossip and speak badly about others? Someone who gossips cannot be someone who loves others. You can be sure that someone who treats others poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as well.



QUESTION #5:
Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married?

Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to "improve" them after they're married. As a colleague of mine puts it, "You can probably expect someone to change after marriage ... for the worse!"

If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them.

In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating, to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues.

Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself in trouble because you didn't do your homework.

Subject:
How willl I know If I've Met the Person I Should Marry?

The choice of a marriage partner should not be based on "I get a warm, wonderful feeling whenever we're together and I want to have that warm wonderful feeling forever, so let's go get married".

Feelings, as we have discussed, have no logic on their own. They need to be acknowledged, of course, but they need considerable assistance from your brain.

Marriage means choosing the person you will spend the rest of your life with. This, as you may have guessed, is a very long time to spend with one person. This person will live with you, eat meals with you, sleep with you and go on vacation with you. More important yet, this person will share your children. You need to choose wisely. The decision should not be made based on feelings alone. You need to ask yourself some tough questions. The decisions have to be made on solid considerations:

1. Will this person be a good partner?
2. Is s/he prepared to be a good provider?
3. Is s/he responsible enough to get a good job and keep it?
4. What is her/his track record?
5. Will this person be a good parent?
6. Is s/he mature enough to put her/him own selfish desires aside to look out for what is best for the family?
7. Can you stand the thought of your children turning out exactly like this person?

They will, you know. Children spend a lot of time with their parents and consequently pick up many or most of their parents' character traits. You had better like your spouse's traits a lot because you will be seeing them again in your children.

If something were to happen to you, would you completely trust this person, alone, with the task of raising and forming your children? This is not a pleasant thought, but it is an important consideration. Not everyone dies at a ripe old age with great grandchildren gathered around the bed.

Sometimes a parent dies and leaves young children in the care of the other parent. If you feel that you would need to be around to correct or lessen this person's influence on your children, then you are considering the wrong person.

Does this person share your faith in God? God does not give us children so that we can mould them into the coolest, most popular people in school. Our job is to get them to heaven. To do that, we need to raise them believing in God. It is tough to do that if only one parent believes.

Saying "This is right and that is wrong, and I want you to ignore Mommy until you are thirty-five" does not work. Small children ask about eight million questions in a single day. The answers to those questions go a long way toward forming the kind of adults they will become. Who will be answering those questions for your children?

Does this person you are marrying have sexual self-control? Single people sometimes have this idea that marriage is just some kind of lifelong sex festival and that as long as they have each other, they will never be tempted by other people. Wrong!

There are many times in every marriage when one partner or the other is sexually unavailable - illness, the last months of pregnancy, travel. There are also times when spouses, just get on each others' nerves.

At times like this, other people can seem very appealing. That can be dangerous, because there are plenty of very attractive people out there who are willing to make themselves available to married men and women. Do you want someone who has never said "no" to sex? If he is not good at saying "no" at eighteen, it won't be different at forty. Do you want to worry about whether or not your Spouse is being faithful?

These are very important questions, and if you are not comfortable with all of the answers, you should definitely not marry this person.

None if this is to say that feelings play no role at all in a marriage decision. You don't have to, "Well, I suppose that you would make a good spouse and parent, so even though I don't particularly like you I guess I'll marry you'". You need to be happy and excited about the prospect of spending your life with someone. Your brain however must acknowledge that this person as a good choice.

Don't listen to your heart alone nor your head alone.
Wait until your heart and head agree.

goodluck !!


Tuesday, June 9, 2009

30 Things That Would Make Girls Smile

1. Don't hug her friends or your friends that are girls cause she'll feel left out.

2. Hold her hand at any moment . . . even if it's just for a second.

3. Hug her from behind.

4. Leave her voice messages to wake up.

5. Wrestle with her.

6. Don't go hang out with your ex when shes not with you, you might not realize how badly it hurts her.

7. If you're talking to another girl, when you're done talking, walk over and hug her and kiss her.... let her know she's yours and they aren't.

8. Write her notes or call her just to say "hi"..and not just at night after you've already been out with other girls.

9. Introduce her to your friends . . . as your girlfriend.

10. Play with her hair.

11. Pick her up

12. Get upset if another guy touches her and she doesn't like it.

13. Make her laugh, if you can make her laugh, you can make her do anything.

14. Let her fall asleep in your arms.

15. If she's mad at you, kiss her.

16. If you care about her, then tell her.

17. Every guy should give their girl 3 things: a stuffed animal(she'll hug it every time she goes to sleep), jewelry (she'll treasure it forever), and one of his t-shirts (she'll most likely wear it to bed).

18. Treat her the same around your friends as you do when you're alone.

19. Look her in the eyes and smile.

20. Hang out with her on weekends.

21. Kiss her in the rain.

22. If your listening to music, let her listen too.

23. Remember her birthday and get her something, even if it's simple and inexpensive, it came from YOU. it means all the world to HER. it's the thought that counts.

24. When she gives you a present on your birthday, or just whenever, take it and tell her you love it, even if you don't (it'll make her happy.)

25. Girl don't necessarily have to have hour-long conversations every night, but it's nice for them to hear your voice even for a quick hello.

26. Give her what she wants

27. Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most.

28. Tell her she's beautiful, she needs to know her striving is working.

29. Hang out with her whenever you are free and u should be free to hang with your girlfriend all the time

30. If u care about her...SHOW it!